I walked in utter comfort, my skin absorbing the unknown world around me. The sunlight was my guide; streams of light slipped through the treetops and illuminated the woods. I was not afraid. I felt safe, perfectly safe - I felt as though I were home.
The leaves shimmered, the nearby brook sparkled. I passed by in awe, drinking in my surroundings, wishing that I could melt among it, become one with my Olympus. I felt unnatural. I did not belong. And yet this place had embraced me, and I could do nothing more than return the favor. My legs glided smoothly on beneath me, but it felt as though they were not a part of me. I was absorbed in absolute beauty.
I left the gravel path I'd been following and turned abruptly toward another, overgrown pathway. The boughs of trees so close by enticed me further. In seconds, I was standing in the middle of a dirt path, gawking at a fallen tree a mere foot in front of me. In my mind I saw it fall. It was a stormy night, the winds were wild and unavoidable - they tore the tree apart with a crack and pushed it to its final resting place. It had landed in such a way that forced it to straddle another, smaller tree; it sloped upward, giving me the image of a cliff rising to meet the heavens. I clumsily hoisted myself onto the trunk and walked forward, my arms sticking straight out for balance. I watched my feet carefully as the fear within me began to grow. And suddenly I slipped, taking a sharp breath of terror - but I was safe, I assured myself. I was alright. I continued on, every step more cautious than the last. The second half of the tree was covered in holes. These holes were so perfect that it seemed as if someone had drilled through the bark over and over again. I knew better; my immediate thought was of a swarm of killer insects that would surely rise to attack me - thus forcing me to lose my balance and fall to my untimely death. Perhaps it was a bit dramatic; nevertheless, I did not make it to the edge of the tree. I heeded my own foolish warnings and hurried back down the trunk, hopping down to safety.
I pressed on, ducking beneath wild brush and coming upon an open area dotted with trees that extended high into the sky. I pivoted, trying to decide what direction to take next; I saw a pathway glowing in the sunshine, and promptly headed toward it. In seconds I had come upon a luscious green field, the kind my mother had always taught me to avoid as a child. And so I did the sensible thing: I ran on through it. I became the child who only dreamed of adventure; I became the little girl who ran with life painted upon her flushed cheeks, the girl who created worlds in her mind that offered her escape. I had successfully found an escape that was true, that was real, and I stared at everything with a childlike sense of wonder.
There in the field I stopped and stood still. I listened to the buzzing of unseen insects that surely filled the brush around me; they seemed to chirp and buzz in harmony, creating a constant working machine. My eyes caught hold of a glint of red among the green, and suddenly I was locking eyes with a red dragonfly. Its wings fluttered weakly as a breeze passed over the land; I attempted to reach for it, but it rose at once and suspended itself midair, as if to tempt me - and then zipped on by, disappearing. I smiled and took a long, hearty breath, attempting to fill my lungs with this beauty. An arousing scent snuck its way up my nostrils, tingling my nose; it was the scent of something pure and beautiful - something genuine, promising. I turned to follow the scent and soon came upon a small pond. It looked as though it had gone untouched by human hands for some time; it was surrounded by a ring of trees and wild plants, and I gently pushed my way through until I was standing at the edge of the water, looking out upon a silver surface covered in lillypads. Sunlight darted across the surface, giving me the impression of sparks; I felt that if I simply reached out and touched the water, warmth would fill me. But I did not want to taint it, I did not want to watch the water ripple in response to the arrival of my foreign touch. It was too serene, too perfect. I turned back.
Now I began the trek back to my starting point, for the sake of my mother and nephew, who were likely brimming with impatience; much longer and they might've come to search for me. I followed the same pathway back, and inevitably came back upon the fallen tree. Again it called my name. This time, I did not think. I did not let fear be my dictator. I took a breath and jumped up, pulling the rest of my body onto the stump of the tree. I stood tall and stumbled forward.
I had arrived at my destination; I was standing atop the very edge of this unlucky tree, on an even level with the brush before me. I had grown closer to the sky. I could feel the wind on my lips. I looked out and up and watched the treetops sway in the wind. As if they were breathing. As if they were feeling. The wind swirled through the woods with a softness, and it befell me so sweetly that I sighed. I imagined the air holding me, tossing my soul out into nature to dwell among the beauty.
In another moment I found myself sitting at the edge of the small brook I'd paid so little attention to upon my arrival. It glistened brightly, as if to emulate the night stars. I closed my eyes and swallowed the life in the air - the air that felt so free. It had released itself among truth, among nature; it was not restrained by congested buildings or crowds of people - it was unbound and alive. I opened my eyes and rose slowly, peeling myself off of the ground.
I walked back quietly, making each step as soft as possible, as if to say, rather apologetically, that I did not mean to intrude. Before leaving, I turned back. It was overwhelming. I felt that I was missing so much, that there was so much that I had not yet seen; I felt that my eyes were not open wide enough, and that I had only glimpsed a piece of truth. I savored every bit of what I had seen, what I had been welcomed into - and yet I found myself yearning for more. It felt, in a strange sense, as if my soul was reaching back, begging to remain for just a little while longer.
I watched the trees sway in the breeze, conceding to the winds and accepting their guidance with a meekness I envied. Was this a mirror of what our lives were meant to be? I opened my mouth and tasted the water; I felt the winds sweeping over me, carrying me. They were whispering. I could not make out the words, but one word rang in my mind - Always. The stretch of it, the simplicity, the promise it contained - the word itself suited the wind’s whisper, echoed it. I listened to the birds singing unknown songs back and forth, to the machine-like buzz that filled this new home, and I said my goodbyes.
I had released myself into the woods, and found a peace that engulfed me. I was free, I was part of something I did not understand, but this fact alone felt oddly reassuring. And I had heard the voice of the wind. I still felt the word sparking like an ember upon my lips: Always.
